I Am The Lucky One

So I was at EXO’s Exo’rdium concert last night. The last time they were here was some 53 weeks ago for their first concert – Exo’Luxion – at the same venue, Stadium Merdeka, Kuala Lumpur.

It’s not my favourite venue because the place is outdoor (read: hot and humid) and it’s still under renovation. But Kpop artistes such as Big Bang and EXO seem to like the atmosphere. I totally get it. From their point of view, it’s breath-taking. They see the PETRONAS Twin Towers and KL Tower from where they are standing. And the sea of yellow (for BB) or silver (for EXO) must be a fantastic view at night. As a loyal fan, I just humour them and allow myself to be entertained.

I think this year’s concert is much better than 2016’s because of the weather factor. The boys performed in the middle of the El-Nino heat last year. This year, the weather was still bearable. The crowd was energetic and the boys just fed off that energy.

As I was not bothered by the weather, I was better able to focus on details of the concert. Their vocals were on fleek. I made it a point to listen more to the singing this time round and I caught all those high notes that Baekhyun, Chen and DO belted out. They sounded so good!

I really love the acoustic segment because it showcased their vocals. And that Ment segment where each of them took turns to sing a short verse of their chosen “gobaek” song (고백송) was completely organic. I’m pretty sure it was an impromptu thing. It started with Suho reading the screen of EXO-Ls phones and realising that they wanted to surprise Minseok with a birthday song, but Minseok was still backstage changing. So Suho told “Malaysia” (suddenly we all became a country) to “calm your tits down” and “hide your wives, kids phones”. Being the subservient wives fans that we are, we hid our phones.

While we all wait for Minseok to come out, Kai launched into a song that I don’t recognise. He even did it in aegyo and full fan-service style. If I know Kai well, he gets embarrassed pretty easily. He must have been really happy and comfortable to launch into that embarrassingly cute performance. Next was Suho who sang his solo song, Curtain. OMG, he was so good! Then everyone chanted “D.O, D.O, D.O”. Twice D.O said that he didn’t have any song. When Suho told him to do Tell Me What Is Love, he obliged and immediately slayed!

Then it was Chen (I’m Not Okay), Baekhyun (Rain) and lastly Sehun. Bless Minseok and Baekhyun for suggesting that Sehun hum to their OST for Scarlet Heart. Minseok said, “Do your favourite song of CBX”. Sehun was like, “But I don’t know it well”. Then, Baekhyun was like, “just do the Tatatatara part”. Sehun probably figured that it was doable. So, he started humming the part. Then fans started hummed along with him. If you know the struggle Sehun has had over his “vocal prowess”, you will understand what a monumental moment that was for him. Sehun has received a lot of flak for his voice. The boy can dance but if I’m being honest, he’s not much of a singer. So it was a big deal for maknae to hum like that in front of thousands of people. The result was a rare, tender moment. I think Sehun felt really good receiving the encouragement from fans. I’m happy this major milestone happened on Malaysian soil.

There were many more memorable moments from the concert that I can only relive through YouTube videos. Frankly, I stood further away from the stage compared to where I did last year. But it worked out in my favour because I didn’t have to endure the pushing and shoving, and being annoyed by all the fans who were blocking my view with their phones.

I stood in front of a fan by the barricade and managed to see all 8 of them up-close when they stood right in front of me. Only Allah knows how grateful I was for the opportunity.

Moments before the concert started, I took a quiet moment to focus on sending positive wishes to myself, the boys and everyone who were inside the stadium. I wished that everyone was happy, safe, patient, and compassionate. I think when your mind is in the “peace and serenity” zone, you attract the same.

I’m genuinely happy that I managed to maximise my “love vibration” quota this weekend. Thanks EXO for the good time. See you boys next year!


Baekhyun's message









Can I get a little bit of love?

My commute to work takes 40 minutes. As the NCT-U rap line goes, “That’s a long ass ride”. So, naturally I want to make the most of that commute to set the day right for me.

In 2016, I developed a habit of reading the Quran and translation all the way to the work. In 2017, I decided to use all of that time to do more things. So, now I start the journey with my usual Quran and translation reading. I make sure I read not less than 10 ayat. Since two days ago, I started doing a guided Loving Kindness Meditation. The voice of the guide is so soothing, it tends to put me to sleep. But since I’m on a moving train, I won’t completely doze off. I think that half-asleep, half-awake state is the most ideal state for meditating as it taps into your unconscious mind. If I have more time, I will read or write down some affirmations. It’s written in the past tense to give the impression that it has happened. That it is a done deal and not wishful thinking.

It’s obviously too early to tell if this new routine will bring any impact, but I have benefited from my Quran reading immensely. More of then not, it sets my day right. Everything seems to fall into place better on days that I invest in some Quran reading time.

I’m not sure if this is purely a coincidence, but the first day I tried the Loving Kindness Meditation, things at work went surprisingly well. I’m not going to go into details, but moods at the office were surprisingly calm. There were no condescension or sarcasm. In fact, there was a lot of patience, understanding and support being thrown around. It was so phenomenal! Definitely a rare, stellar day.

But, as you know, life tends to happens. Shit will go down and egos will be bruised, etc etc. But I still see value in doing the Loving Kindness Meditation daily simply because it increases positive vibrations and it’s similar to praying for the well-being of another. How is that not useful? Besides, it helps me attract more of what I want. If I want to attract compassion from people, I better start showing compassion to others, right?

Well, watch this space as I make more observations of my morning routine.

UPDATE (10 February 2017): I did a LKM at home around noon today because I had 20 minutes to spare. Then at about 5pm, a colleague who has been having a rough time at work texted to say that one of the bosses who had been giving her a hard time asked her out for lunch and even paid for it. She wrote, and I quote: “Surprisingly, (she) seems to be nice and in a good mood today”. Coincidence or not, I’m definitely going to make LKM a permanent part of my daily routine.


Wish Me Luck, I’m Facing My Demons

Funny how my last post was approximately a year ago. I wrote about feeling like myself again.

Little did I know that the following months would be filled with a whirlwind of events. I learned so much and accomplished so much. My LinkedIn has a summary of that, so I’m not going to rehash everything here.

But over the course of 12 months, I began to see a pattern developing. The same problems I thought I had left behind were resurfacing bit by bit. And I knew what was happening — I was attracting the same vibration that I had hope to leave. Like a ghost, it came back to haunt me. That same hard-to-shake feeling of dread.

Don’t get me wrong. The previous environment was worse. This new environment is a tremendous improvement, but there are some traces of the old, negative vibration. I recognise it because it is a shade of the old life I thought I had left behind.

So, I’ve been reading up on how to improve my vibration. Because I believe that even when we feel trapped, we do have a choice to freedom. I can’t control how others act or behave, but I am in full control of how I respond to them. So, I made some notes of how I can stay put where I am and face my demons by “cleansing the air”. This way, I won’t have to “run away” ever again.

I hope you’ll also find this useful. The last paragraph, I feel, is the most powerful of them all.

It’s not easy to be in an environment where many people have strong feelings (about how toxic the environment is). They discuss it around the water cooler every chance they get; there is a lot of conversations going on about the inappropriateness of “them” (i.e the Management, the bad boss etc) as they (the so-called victims try to) justify where they stand.

All of this chains you to a vibration that blocks your access to the (positive) vibration that you want. The only way to overcome it is to relentlessly reach for that better vibration (again, and again, and again). Build your own bridges to that better vibration.

A “toxic environment” is shaped by thousands of “compliant” participants (i.e. those who contribute towards it by harping on the situation, and assuming the “hapless victim” mentality).

Even if you were to jump ship and leave the “toxic environment” for “greener pastures”, you would naturally jump into the same environment because that is the only vibration that you have access to and attract. Unless you stay put and look for reasons to feel good  — create positive vibrations, regain your sense of autonomy and self-direction. Only then could the universe yield to you easily.


About a week ago, I wrote about rediscovering myself and the things that I used to love. A week since then, I started noticing more things about myself through my new routine.

I find that I am a lot more energised than I have been in a long time.

It is probably because I walk a lot now. I take two trains to get to work; and I rarely sit during these train rides. For lunch, I like going to this food court that requires me to walk about 7 minutes or so because it is so much quieter than the one smack in the middle of the mall.

It could also be due to the fact that I get to do things that I actually enjoy. I read, write and edit for the most part of my job, and that is something that I didn’t quite get to do for about two years.

Whatever it is, it’s doing me a lot of good. I feel like I have a ton of energy. I don’t feel drained – not even from my one hour train ride. The funny thing is, I can go back slightly later and still reach home around the time that I used to.

My previous commute was so comfortable and easy. I can always get a seat in the bus and I can even nap all the way home. Now, I need to jostle with people — and deal with people who cut lines. But I can’t remember the last time I was this “zen”.

It’s still early days, and before long, I could be ranting and bitching about work here. But for now, I am happy and contented with my life.



Feeling like the old me again

I’m sure you have felt it before. You are caught in a nightmare (literal or figurative) and you wish that you would just wake up, so that everything goes back to normal?

That is how I feel right now. In the past few days, I feel as if I have finally woken up from a long, bad dream. And when I woke up, I felt such a huge relief that it was all in the past and that life is back to how it used to be.

I’m reading again, meeting up friends for lunch again, making plans to socialise again and — most magical of all — I’m blogging again. I haven’t had the desire to blog in forever.

I’m most certainly grateful for the opportunity that I have been given. I am definitely thankful for this respite — no matter how long or brief it is.

I love feeling like the old me again.





Putting Myself First

I was watching a talk by healer and medium Christie Marie Sheldon, who is also author of Love or Above and Unlimited Abundance, on YouTube.

She cited a study during her talk which discovered that an individual who vibrates energy at Level 500 (which is believed to be the energy of Love), can positively change the frequency of 750,000 other people.

What this means, she says, is that anyone has the power to change their environment by simply vibrating or chanelling out positive energy. You can influence the world just by being your happy, optimistic self.

I had recently left my previous workplace of two years. When I told my colleagues that I was leaving, they expressed regret and sadness. Some commented to the effect that they liked having a positive person (referring to me) in the office, and that they would miss having me around.

Naturally, I am flattered to hear such kind words from them — especially since these are people whom I don’t really spend much time with, but have had the privilege of interacting or working with.

But flattered as I was, I knew I had to put myself first and chase after my dream.

Truth be told, I have noticed some subtle, and not-so-subtle changes in my life in the past two years. I don’t want to dwell on those changes here, but it is safe to say that I was not comfortable with who I was becoming.

The decision to move was my equivalent of “putting on my own life-jacket before helping others with theirs”.

I am humbled to know that I was thought of as the spark of positivity. If the findings of the study cited above is true, then I may have positively changed the frequency of the people around me.

But I think it goes without saying that one can only stay positive for so long in an environment that is taxing. The thing about negative energy is that, it can overpower and suck the soul/light out of the positive.

My fear was being sucked into it, and never finding my way out again. That is why I needed to take care of myself first so that I can continue to be the beacon of light and positivity around me.

There are no guarantees that my next adventure will have a happy ending, but it is a risk I am willing to take.

As long as I can continue to be me, I should be good.









The Power of 10 Minutes

Ten minutes doesn’t seem very long. Until you time yourself doing something for 10 minutes.

I got the inspiration from an article, that I can’t remember where I read. It’s also partly inspired by Neen James who says, “people don’t have an hour anymore (these days), but (they) do have 15 minutes. And Neen recommends that people set the timer for 15 minutes and crank up on work.

As it turns out, 15 minutes is too long for me. Here is why: After two days of doing work or chores in 10-minute bursts, I realized that I have what I call “an overestimated sense of time”.

What feels like 10 minutes to me is actually only 5 minutes. That is great news, I guess, because by the time I feel like I have been at something for 10 minutes, it has only been 5. But that also means that I’d be “exhausted” after working for 10 minutes, because it feels like I have been working for 15. My mind would wander off before the timer buzzes.

So I have been timing myself as such lately, and seem to be doing pretty good. I haven’t reached my desired level of productivity, but I have been able to finish tasks and cross them off my list — thanks to this method.

I’ll keep you posted on how it is working out for me after a week. Watch this space!

UPDATE! (Saturday, 2 May 2015)

I haven’t been timing myself of late because I get so overwhelmed by work that I don’t have time to reach for the phone or even go to the online timer. But a Korean YouTube vlogger reminded me of the benefits of timing myself  because she bought a timer to time herself studying — so I am keen to start again. In fact, I just set the timer for 1 hour for my laundry. It should ring any minute now. Three minutes left to be exact. Later!