Press Reset

If you’ve been following my previous posts, you will know that I have been very mindful about keeping a positive mindset. Throughout the day, I focus on sending and attracting love, kindness, compassion, etc. It has been working well to the point that my husband noticed my zen state and even commented on it.

But life has a habit of throwing the wrench in the works. Last Thursday and Friday were particularly challenging for me. In a span of two days, I had to pick up someone else’s mess, got an earful from my superior, and was bugged endlessly by a particular “client”. As much as I know that I need to be patient, and be the bigger person – to attract the same – I struggled to keep the fantasy of punching someone in the face or restrain myself from being snappy, sarcastic and combative.

It was also around this time that a good friend who has been having a hard time at work asked me if “the Universe” is giving her a taste of her own medicine for something she did in the past. Going by all the literature that I’ve read on the subject of “Law of Attraction”, we attract what we give out. What you give, you get back. Karma. Going by that logic, the hard times that we experience are our own doing – knowingly or unknowingly.

Truth be told, I don’t know if “bad” things that happen to us are meant to be lessons or punishment. But I do know that things happen for a reason.

In this case, I choose to press the “reset” button. Law of Attraction tells you to forgive yourself, release the past and start fresh. So, I choose to press that reset button and start new. I choose to look at things from the lense of “love”. That means, I pick to see the silver lining, to see the glass as half full instead of half empty.

Perhaps those “bad things” are opportunities for us to rise to the challenge. An opportunity to be the bigger person rather than the person who insists on winning and being right. What if our stock of pahala is diminishing and being patient with so-called difficult people is our chance to win that pahala lottery? Shouldn’t we hang on a little longer, then?

As my favourite quote goes: “It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it”. Hardship does not need to be a burden if you look at it differently. Sure, this is easier said than done. But you know what? Nothing worth chasing is ever easy.

So I’m going to take my own advise and apply what I have learned through all my reading. The moment that person or situation gives you grief, pause, take a deep breath and press reset. Acknowledge the issue you are facing, forgive yourself and the “offending party”, and press reset.

Instead of cursing the person, istighfar and send them love or “doa” yang baik-baik. In the privacy of your own mind, imagine their faces, imagine holding their hands, looking them in the eye and feeling the satisfaction of being the bigger person for forgiving them. Imagine their jaws agape as they stand there speechless because never in a million years did they expect you to forgive them. When you forgive them, you take away their power over you. Isn’t that satisfying?

So, I’m going to take my own advise and do this. Every time I feel like bashing someone in the head, I’ll remember to press pause and reset.



You Seem Calm These Days

Every morning, my husband would drop me off at the LRT station. I would give him a peck on the cheek before I get out of the car.

This morning, before I could give him my goodbye kiss, he told me that I seem very relaxed these days. That I don’t seem tense at all.

I was so amused by what he said that I ended up leaving my phone in the car! LOL.

I only realised it when I wanted to whip out my phone from my bag to read the Quran and also to blog about what he said. I was about to panic, but I calmed down soon enough because I knew my mobile phone would be in the car. I got a lecture from my husband about being careless over Google Talk, but I was still zen throughout the day.

I truly did not expect my husband to make that remark. For him to even notice. But I’m glad that he mentioned it because, for me, it’s proof that being deliberate about having Loving Kindness thoughts first thing in the morning helps.

I have read about water being a good conduit for healing. That’s why Zamzam water has healing properties, and also why healers use plain water as “penawar” or remedy. So, I use my morning shower time to think positive thoughts and wish for a blessed day. While under the shower, I list out all the things that I am grateful for in my life and wish for good things for myself and my loved ones.

Generally, I wish for the following things:

For myself and everyone who knows me to be safe, happy and healthy.

To be kind, loving, considerate, patient, compassionate, selfless, and magnanimous.

To have peace and serenity.

To forgive themselves, forgive others and be forgiven.

To have abundance from expected and unexpected sources.

To love ourselves/themselves just the way we are.

For everything to be well in our world.

After I get out of the shower, I recite some zikir to raise my positive vibrations as I get ready for work. The whole idea is to distract myself from the self-pity of “oh no, I have to go to work” and focus on willing for a wonderful day ahead instead.

If my husband noticed me being zen in the morning, then I think I’m on the right track.

I encourage anyone reading this to make a habit of this. I mean, what do you have to lose?



Abundance from expected and unexpected sources

You probably know that I have a morning ritual on my commute to work. I start by reading at least 10 verses from the Quran and followed by some Loving Kindness doa that I say in my heart for my loved ones. One of the phrases that I say is “May I/they have abundance from expected and unexpected sources.” What this means is that I wish for myself and others to have abundance of rezeki in many forms and many sources.

I think I have been blessed twice over since I started paying attention to this. I’m hesitant to say that I have manifested these good fortune. But I will start that I have “attracted” them since I started being more mindful about having clear and pure intentions, focusing on the positive things in life and praying for good things for myself and others, including those whom I have issues with.

For starters, I will list out 3 events that really stood out to me.

1. In February, I had to cancel an additional insurance policy that I could no longer afford to pay due to other commitments. I had been paying for it using my credit card and I had asked for my insurance agent to help me terminate the direct debit. She did it with no complaints. Earlier this week, she messaged me to say that the insurance company is refunding me the last payment I made! Say it with me — abundance from expected and unexpected sources.

2. I am saving up for a trip to Seoul in November so I was slightly worried about not being able to afford the mosh pit tickets to EXO’s Exo’rdium concert. It costs RM700. I could always charge it to the credit card and pay it off later, but it’s still a hefty sum. So I stalled buying the ticket and prayed for abundance to come my way. A week before the concert, my tax return was banked in to my account. The amount? RM700+.

3. A few nights ago, my team and I were staying back a little later than usual to put our publication to bed. At the 11th hour, our superior had issues with the layout. Le superior was nitpicking. We really didn’t have time to make a whole lot of changes and we needed the approval. The party that was sending this publication out needs to leave for the day already. So, I went to the ladies room and did a short Loving Kindness prayer so that the tension will be gone. A short message later, we got the approval.

Maybe the last one isn’t an example of abundance, but it shows that when you clear your mind and ask for guidance or help, you will receive it.

In fact, we receive divine intervention all the time without even realising it.

The key is to pay attention and to make sure that we express sincere gratitude to God for the blessing. For fortune favours not only the brave but also the grateful.




My Pants Shall Fit Again.

Lately, my pants don’t fit well anymore. I think I might have packed an extra pound or two around the waist and hip, so on good days, I can button up my pants just fine. But on bad days, I can only zip up my pants half-way and tie an elastic around the button hole and secure it to the button for “extra room”. Since I wear long shirts, others are none the wiser. But I know, so I get hella self-conscious.

Needless to say, that was an effective wake-up call to get my butt moving. So today, I decided to ease back into yoga (did 30 minutes this morning) and ran/walk around my apartment for about 2km while listening to EXO’s playlist on Spotify. My shins hurt so much so I had to walk most of the way. As discouraging as it was, I vowed to have another go on Tuesday night after work. Working out after work is normally tricky, but I have to commit to this because running before 6 a.m. is pretty much out of the question.

Running is a relatively dicey workout choice for me because of my Rheumatoid Arthritis. Walking is already painful with RA, so imagine what running will do. But research shows that RA hasn’t stopped people from running, so I will just pace myself and try my best. If it’s too painful, I can always walk it out.

In the meantime, I have been consuming Apple Cider Vinegar and Honey with the hopes of reducing inches from my waist. The Alkalizing tea that I got as a birthday present from my manager has been helpful too. I notice that I am less gassy if I take it for breakfast. It has kept the immediate post-lunch urge to go to the toilet to a minimum. My right thumb is also less stiff. I’m happy with the results so far. I hope to see further improvements along the way.





I Am The Lucky One

So I was at EXO’s Exo’rdium concert last night. The last time they were here was some 53 weeks ago for their first concert – Exo’Luxion – at the same venue, Stadium Merdeka, Kuala Lumpur.

It’s not my favourite venue because the place is outdoor (read: hot and humid) and it’s still under renovation. But Kpop artistes such as Big Bang and EXO seem to like the atmosphere. I totally get it. From their point of view, it’s breath-taking. They see the PETRONAS Twin Towers and KL Tower from where they are standing. And the sea of yellow (for BB) or silver (for EXO) must be a fantastic view at night. As a loyal fan, I just humour them and allow myself to be entertained.

I think this year’s concert is much better than 2016’s because of the weather factor. The boys performed in the middle of the El-Nino heat last year. This year, the weather was still bearable. The crowd was energetic and the boys just fed off that energy.

As I was not bothered by the weather, I was better able to focus on details of the concert. Their vocals were on fleek. I made it a point to listen more to the singing this time round and I caught all those high notes that Baekhyun, Chen and DO belted out. They sounded so good!

I really love the acoustic segment because it showcased their vocals. And that Ment segment where each of them took turns to sing a short verse of their chosen “gobaek” song (고백송) was completely organic. I’m pretty sure it was an impromptu thing. It started with Suho reading the screen of EXO-Ls phones and realising that they wanted to surprise Minseok with a birthday song, but Minseok was still backstage changing. So Suho told “Malaysia” (suddenly we all became a country) to “calm your tits down” and “hide your wives, kids phones”. Being the subservient wives fans that we are, we hid our phones.

While we all wait for Minseok to come out, Kai launched into a song that I don’t recognise. He even did it in aegyo and full fan-service style. If I know Kai well, he gets embarrassed pretty easily. He must have been really happy and comfortable to launch into that embarrassingly cute performance. Next was Suho who sang his solo song, Curtain. OMG, he was so good! Then everyone chanted “D.O, D.O, D.O”. Twice D.O said that he didn’t have any song. When Suho told him to do Tell Me What Is Love, he obliged and immediately slayed!

Then it was Chen (I’m Not Okay), Baekhyun (Rain) and lastly Sehun. Bless Minseok and Baekhyun for suggesting that Sehun hum to their OST for Scarlet Heart. Minseok said, “Do your favourite song of CBX”. Sehun was like, “But I don’t know it well”. Then, Baekhyun was like, “just do the Tatatatara part”. Sehun probably figured that it was doable. So, he started humming the part. Then fans started hummed along with him. If you know the struggle Sehun has had over his “vocal prowess”, you will understand what a monumental moment that was for him. Sehun has received a lot of flak for his voice. The boy can dance but if I’m being honest, he’s not much of a singer. So it was a big deal for maknae to hum like that in front of thousands of people. The result was a rare, tender moment. I think Sehun felt really good receiving the encouragement from fans. I’m happy this major milestone happened on Malaysian soil.

There were many more memorable moments from the concert that I can only relive through YouTube videos. Frankly, I stood further away from the stage compared to where I did last year. But it worked out in my favour because I didn’t have to endure the pushing and shoving, and being annoyed by all the fans who were blocking my view with their phones.

I stood in front of a fan by the barricade and managed to see all 8 of them up-close when they stood right in front of me. Only Allah knows how grateful I was for the opportunity.

Moments before the concert started, I took a quiet moment to focus on sending positive wishes to myself, the boys and everyone who were inside the stadium. I wished that everyone was happy, safe, patient, and compassionate. I think when your mind is in the “peace and serenity” zone, you attract the same.

I’m genuinely happy that I managed to maximise my “love vibration” quota this weekend. Thanks EXO for the good time. See you boys next year!


Baekhyun's message









Can I get a little bit of love?

My commute to work takes 40 minutes. As the NCT-U rap line goes, “That’s a long ass ride”. So, naturally I want to make the most of that commute to set the day right for me.

In 2016, I developed a habit of reading the Quran and translation all the way to the work. In 2017, I decided to use all of that time to do more things. So, now I start the journey with my usual Quran and translation reading. I make sure I read not less than 10 ayat. Since two days ago, I started doing a guided Loving Kindness Meditation. The voice of the guide is so soothing, it tends to put me to sleep. But since I’m on a moving train, I won’t completely doze off. I think that half-asleep, half-awake state is the most ideal state for meditating as it taps into your unconscious mind. If I have more time, I will read or write down some affirmations. It’s written in the past tense to give the impression that it has happened. That it is a done deal and not wishful thinking.

It’s obviously too early to tell if this new routine will bring any impact, but I have benefited from my Quran reading immensely. More of then not, it sets my day right. Everything seems to fall into place better on days that I invest in some Quran reading time.

I’m not sure if this is purely a coincidence, but the first day I tried the Loving Kindness Meditation, things at work went surprisingly well. I’m not going to go into details, but moods at the office were surprisingly calm. There were no condescension or sarcasm. In fact, there was a lot of patience, understanding and support being thrown around. It was so phenomenal! Definitely a rare, stellar day.

But, as you know, life tends to happens. Shit will go down and egos will be bruised, etc etc. But I still see value in doing the Loving Kindness Meditation daily simply because it increases positive vibrations and it’s similar to praying for the well-being of another. How is that not useful? Besides, it helps me attract more of what I want. If I want to attract compassion from people, I better start showing compassion to others, right?

Well, watch this space as I make more observations of my morning routine.

UPDATE (10 February 2017): I did a LKM at home around noon today because I had 20 minutes to spare. Then at about 5pm, a colleague who has been having a rough time at work texted to say that one of the bosses who had been giving her a hard time asked her out for lunch and even paid for it. She wrote, and I quote: “Surprisingly, (she) seems to be nice and in a good mood today”. Coincidence or not, I’m definitely going to make LKM a permanent part of my daily routine.


Wish Me Luck, I’m Facing My Demons

Funny how my last post was approximately a year ago. I wrote about feeling like myself again.

Little did I know that the following months would be filled with a whirlwind of events. I learned so much and accomplished so much. My LinkedIn has a summary of that, so I’m not going to rehash everything here.

But over the course of 12 months, I began to see a pattern developing. The same problems I thought I had left behind were resurfacing bit by bit. And I knew what was happening — I was attracting the same vibration that I had hope to leave. Like a ghost, it came back to haunt me. That same hard-to-shake feeling of dread.

Don’t get me wrong. The previous environment was worse. This new environment is a tremendous improvement, but there are some traces of the old, negative vibration. I recognise it because it is a shade of the old life I thought I had left behind.

So, I’ve been reading up on how to improve my vibration. Because I believe that even when we feel trapped, we do have a choice to freedom. I can’t control how others act or behave, but I am in full control of how I respond to them. So, I made some notes of how I can stay put where I am and face my demons by “cleansing the air”. This way, I won’t have to “run away” ever again.

I hope you’ll also find this useful. The last paragraph, I feel, is the most powerful of them all.

It’s not easy to be in an environment where many people have strong feelings (about how toxic the environment is). They discuss it around the water cooler every chance they get; there is a lot of conversations going on about the inappropriateness of “them” (i.e the Management, the bad boss etc) as they (the so-called victims try to) justify where they stand.

All of this chains you to a vibration that blocks your access to the (positive) vibration that you want. The only way to overcome it is to relentlessly reach for that better vibration (again, and again, and again). Build your own bridges to that better vibration.

A “toxic environment” is shaped by thousands of “compliant” participants (i.e. those who contribute towards it by harping on the situation, and assuming the “hapless victim” mentality).

Even if you were to jump ship and leave the “toxic environment” for “greener pastures”, you would naturally jump into the same environment because that is the only vibration that you have access to and attract. Unless you stay put and look for reasons to feel good  — create positive vibrations, regain your sense of autonomy and self-direction. Only then could the universe yield to you easily.