Posted in me

Don’t pooh-pooh this post

I gotta tell you. I really didn’t want to blog about this. But I think other people would benefit from this post because, heck, it involves your honour!

You wouldn’t like it if people can’t look you in the eye anymore because of your bodily functions now would you?

Anyway, I went to the toilet on my husband’s floor at the office to do No 1. As soon as I entered the cubicle, I already had a whiff of the pong. That was enough to tell me two things — that I wasn’t the only one in the toilet and the other person was doing a No 2. Before you say it, let me tell you this is not one of those haunted toilet stories. It’s worse, trust me!

What I can say is that the pong jogged my memory to another episode some time last year where I used the same toilet and the same thing happened. The smell was awful I tell you. It was so bad, it made me — the person two cubicles away — gag. Can you beat that? Two cubicles away!!

Before you accuse me of being unreasonable, let me say that I am well aware that poo is supposed to smell. BUT I have never been in a cublice next to someone whom I know is doing No 2 and had to endure that kind of smell.

Anyhoo, this reminded me of my experience in a public toilet in a shopping mall in Brisbane, Australia. One caucasian brat came in to the use the toilet and loudly declared, “Yuck, it smells like poo in here”. Honey, that smell ain’t nothing compared to this!

So back to my story. I had half the mind to tell the lady, flush already woman!

I mean, who says that you have to flush only once? These days, toilet water tanks fill up pretty fast, so you don’t have to worry about having to wait 5 minutes to flush again.

If the smell is already bad two cubicles away, imagine being in her cubicle! Maybe she was wearing one of those gas masks, so she was oblivious to the smell….I don’t know.

Anyway, let this be a lesson to all of us the next time we take a dump in a public toilet. Be considerate to others. No matter how much you enjoy the scent of your own waste, please don’t contaminate the air for other people. I beg you!

The best part is, I know who the lady is. How do I know? I recognise her cough. But sorry, people, I’m not telling because I don’t want to embarrass her. Maybe she has some colon-related illness like me but she has yet to master the art of using public toilets. So for her sake, I shall not reveal who she is. Biarlah rahsia…

I told you this involves your air muka…



Suziemclean is a Piscean who can't swim. She is 40 and married to a wonderful (younger) man who makes her laugh, and finds her corny sense of humour "endearing". She lives with her husband, family and cat in Shah Alam.

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