me

Friendship never ends?

We’ve all experienced it before. Falling out with a bestie (best friend) is never easy. I mean this is (these are) the person (persons) whom you hung out with for the longest time, shared personal jokes and probably trusted your life with. But everyone grows up and change — for the better or the worse. And when we outgrow our own skin, sometimes we outgrow people too… fall out of love with them… if you catch my drift.

I remembered it happening to me in school. I was superclose with this girl, K, at the start of Form One and we bonded fast. I have no idea what happened but before I knew it, hardly weeks later, she had another best friend. Rejection is never easy. It was painful to know that I wasn’t her best friend anymore. I think what was more painful was knowing that I wasn’t needed anymore.

Even at that tender age, I knew better than to hold any grudge against her. I didn’t understand why I couldn’t be her friend — if not her best friend — anymore. I mean, we could still hang out. But soon, I realised that if she didn’t need me, then there was nothing I could do. I moved on and made new friends whom I still keep in touch with to this very day.

And recently, I saw some very solid friendships crumble. These are people who nearly spent every single day of their lives together. They were almost family. But now the gang has been split into two. One gang (or at least one member) has been calling individuals in the other group names. Really rude names.

It really made me sad because the ones at fault are the ones hurling the abuses.

Not only that, some of them have even threatened to cut family ties with anyone who “befriended” the “enemies”. This NOT coming from the mouths of babes, ok. This is coming from the mouths of… dare I say it… orang yang tak ada iman (faith).

To me, only those without faith will even speak of cutting family ties during Ramadhan. SURE… Family does come first, but what if that family member is the one at fault?

Hypothetically, if I have done something wrong to let’s say John and my relative, Mary sympathizes with him, is it fair for me to expect Mary to take my side and cut all ties with John?

Shouldn’t I be ashamed of myself for even asking Mary to take my side just because “we’re family”?

I hate to sound “holier than thou” but only shameless and orang yang lemah iman and EQ je will even think of suggesting anything remotely like that. Come on, surely our parents taught us better than that.

The moral of the story is, if you’re in the wrong but not yet ready to apologise or own up to it, don’t make things worse by suggesting silly things like the above. Duduk je situ diam-diam (just sit there quietly). Kalau dah buat salah tu buat cara orang yang bersalah. Pray that you will have the courage and humility to apologise one fine day.

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