Posted in drama, friends, me, pissed, rant

I refuse to be the fall guy

I think I need to get some counselling from financial experts.

Don’t worry, I am not in any financial woes. At least not one that would make me consider jumping off a building 😛

But I do need some guidance on what course of action to take about this little thing that has been bugging me. Sorry I can’t go into detail. But read on and if you’re smart — and I know you are — you may be able to get where I’m going with this.

Let’s just say that it’s something that, if I don’t clear up now, may cause me problems later. It doesn’t matter that I wasn’t the one who has been running away from my responsibility. But because I am party to it, (yes, I foolishly got myself into it…. well, I was young then) I may — one day — have to shoulder the burden. And I sure as heck don’t want to be the pak sanggup (fall guy/scapegoat).

Part of me wants to strangle this person who got me into this (potential) mess. But part of me sympathises with her. Her life has been one tragedy after another. Still, leaving me to clean up your mess (although not yet) is pretty low. We were good friends and friends just don’t do this to each other.

It’s a pity that I’m no longer in contact with this “friend”. Not out of choice but because this friend has changed her contact numbers. Yes, numbers. Earlier, I had contemplated searching for her. I know where her parents live but I’ve been too busy to play detective.

Besides, I just feel that I shouldn’t be the one looking for her. I mean, she was the one who conveniently left me in the lurch.

If I see this friend again, however, I’d like to give her a piece of my mind. This is what I’d like to say:

Dear friend, if I could afford to solve your problem, believe me I would. But I can’t — at least not right now — and, frankly, I shouldn’t be expected to. Sure, no one saw this coming. I’m sure you didn’t expect your “happily ever after” to end this way. No one did. But I’m sorry, that’s card that you’ve been dealth with. I sympathise but it ain’t my problem. The sad thing is, it has become mine. And it’s unfair. Because of that, I’m pretty p1ssed and I think I deserve to be.

Instead of wallowing in self pity, I think it’s more practical to cover my own @ss. And that’s why I think I want to get that expert advice pronto.



Suziemclean is a Piscean who can't swim. She is 40 and married to a wonderful (younger) man who makes her laugh, and finds her corny sense of humour "endearing". She lives with her husband, family and cat in Shah Alam.