me

Que sera sera

My friend had just announced her good news. She is expecting her second baby.

I am thrilled for her and a little envious too. Now that I have been married for over a year, I’d have to say I am a little sensitive when people mention about babies in my presence.

Before you take it the wrong way, I am in no hurry to conceive. But at the same time, I can’t help but to wonder why I haven’t.  I know what you’re going to say. If it bothers me so much, I should see a doctor. But I am not. Not so much.

I haven’t gone to the extent of crying out of frustration every time my period comes (like a girl I know apparently did) but it gets to me when people ask, “still no sign?” Well, I still have my period, so guess not!

Sometimes I ask myself if I am ready, truly ready for the responsibility of having a mini me or mini far1dz. I suppose no one can be truly ready for these things. My motto is, cross the bridge when you get there. Seems a little reckless but, what can I say? It’s how I really feel about the situation.

Let’s face it. Although I welcome a new member to my small family anytime soon, I’m still aiming to shed a couple of pounds. I’m not exactly ready to trade my skinny jeans with maternity pants. But when it happens, I’ll gladly don that maternity pants. At least I can say that I exercised and ate healthily before the pregnancy!

Sometimes when I am running on the treadmill or just exerting myself at the gym, I wonder if I am putting my (non-existent) child in danger. But I think God is greater than that. I have faith that if it’s meant to happen, it’s meant to happen. I could be at “it” like rabbits and wasting my life away eating tubs of ice cream while watching CSI back-to-back episodes and still have a miscarriage, for instance.

So, que sera sera, right?

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2 thoughts on “Que sera sera”

  1. Were you ever on the Pill? Apparently, it takes a few years for your body be cleared of it. Which worries me slightly as I have been on the Pill for 8 years…wonder how long would it take for me?!!

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