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Baby, I’m having the blues

On Sunday evening, Far1dz and I went for dinner with his old primary school friends who later became a couple and are now married and expecting their first babies. Yes, they’re expecting twins. Twins on the first try!!! That’s pretty amazing, I think.

So there was Ag*us, looking like a 19-year-old and An1s looking slightly older than her husband and very pregnant. When she sat down, her stomach was about 10 inches high and her feet were swollen, like she had water retention. Apart from her swelling belly, she looked like she didn’t put on much weight at all. Her wrists and arms looked as thin as ever. Only he cheeks are slightly chubby. But that’s about it!

I could see that her gaze soften when she looked at the children at the restaurant and her speech isn’t as quick as it used to be. She says she tires easily these days. But I also sense that she has acquired a newfound patience. Something tells me that she has mellowed down, by a lot.

Will motherhood (or impending motherhood) have that effect on me? I’m still wondering.

I’d be lying if I said that I feel a tinge of jealousy. Never mind that they’re still wondering how they’re going to cope with the expenditure of sending not one but two babies to the nursery. They can afford it but they will feel the pinch. I still secretly want what she’s having.

I haven’t reach the point where I cry when I discover that I am having my monthly again – apparently, a colleague who was desperate to be pregnant did this (she’s now a yummy mummy of one and a half) – but times like these make me wonder, when is it my turn?

A part of me is still enjoying the honeymoon period that Far1dz and I are still in. We’re big babies ourselves. But there’s another part of me that feels grown up enough to fend for another small human being.

I shudder as I typed that last sentence. I suddenly remembered what Kamm asked me: “How would you feel if it happened tomorrow?”

I guess I’ll still take it one day at a time.

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