Subjective qualities

(Written on Feb 17, 2006, 1:21am)
After watching Thelma and Louis (actually best friends, mothers and housewives Tricia and Kari) get Extreme Makeover(s) on TV just now, I could not help but to check my reflection in the mirror.
Tricia and Kari looked really good and years younger after the makeovers. Actually, Tricia reminded me of Marge from CSI Las Vegas whereas Kari could pass off as Sarah Jessica Parker’s sister. They both had their eyes done, stomachs nipped and tucked and boobs lifted and enhanced. The result was simply stunning. They do look like they belong in Hollywood. I feel that they do deserve to be nipped and tucked and look the way they both feel inside, if they have the means to pay for it.
That’s the funny thing about the human body. Before, I didn’t really understand when some people (for eg transvestites) say that they feel “trapped” in their own bodies. They have this beautiful soul that was somehow placed in the “wrong” skin.
I think we all feel that to a certain extent. Ageing women like Tricia and Kari may feel that their bodies no longer reflect their youthful souls.
For me, I sometimes feel that my acne problem is doing me a disservice. I feel and I know that I can be totally gorgeous on the outside if only the five red, throbbing acnes on my cheeks would just disappear. I already know that I am one hot mama in the inside. But when you have zits and scars on your face that just won’t go away, it’s hard to convince yourself that you are bootilicious.
It is worse when other people (whether they mean it or not) start to define you by your flaws. Yesterday, the five-year-old girl that my mom baby-sits drew a picture of me. In her drawing, I had two pigtails, a crop top and sweat pants. I also had small dots all over my face. No prizes for guessing what the dots are suppose to be.
I know it should not bother me but it did. In the eye of the innocent, I still had zits. Sigh.
Adults have also used my facial flaws to describe me in the past. “Which one is Su-Z? Oh, the plump girl with curly hair and zits”. I know the person was only stating the obvious. I WAS plump, curly haired and zitty. But it still sounded so wrong.
It’s like describing Mimi in The Drew Carrey Show as the overweight secretary who wears garish makeup. It sounds hurtful but it’s true. Those ARE her most obvious attributes.
But surely people can choose kinder words when they describe you. I wish I could convince people to describe me as the girl with the soothing singing voice and pleasant personality (hehe). The problem with that is, they were only describing my “subjective” qualities. I mean, what use would subjective qualities be when helping the police come up with a photo fit? They don’t want to know whether you sing like an angel or not. All they care is if the person has doe-eyes or crooked nose.
How do we tackle this? I think one way of doing it is to change what you can about your “objective” attributes. Either that, or we have to train people to start identifying other people by their “subjective” qualities. It’s worth a try, don’t you think?

2 thoughts on “Subjective qualities”

  1. I wouldn’t say you are plump, you’ve always been smaller than me. Not zitty, cos I notice your face has cleared up over the years. Not curly haired, cos it’s not *that* curly like that Annie character, your hair’s more wavy I think. Harlan gets confused with my friends a lot, and I ALWAYS say that you’re Suzy, the reporter, the one with big eyes and instantly he remembers you! 😀 P.S: Loved the chat we had over the phone!

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